9/1/14

ELECTRIC BOOGALOO Poster and Top 5 So-Bad-They're-Good Cannon Films

Like the poster for Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films says: 52 Movies A Year Just Wasn't Enough. Cannon was clearly going with quantity over quality. When you're putting that much celluloid out there you're bound to make some that are so bad they're good. With that in mind here's my list of 5 of the best so bad they're good Cannon films.
That's right people, Lou Ferrigno didn't just play The Incredible Hulk!
#5 Hercules: I hate picking on Lou Ferrigno because he seems like such a likable guy. All I'll say is that it's a good thing that The Incredible Hulk TV show never needed Ferrigno to flex his acting muscles... Just watch a few minutes of Hercules and you'll see why.

The Siege, The Ordeal, and The Rescue also refer to the audience's feelings at the beginning, middle, and end of the film.
#4 The Delta Force: Before becoming the subject of an internet meme Chuck Norris was one of Cannon's go to guys, starring in a series of Missing in Action films, Invasion USA, and the two of the Delta Force films (just to name a few). The original Delta Force lands on this list thanks to its comically over the top patriotism, distinctly 80's synth heavy score, and some jaw droppingly bad casting. I love Robert Forster, but just giving him a tan and a bad Freddie Mercury mustache doesn't make him a credible Arab terrorist.
Just think of it as a prequel to JCVD
#3 Bloodsport:

1) Choreograph some killer fights utilizing martial arts from all over the world.
2) Have Jean-Claude Van Damme do a split.
3) Tie it together with a shoestring plot about an underground MMA competition or something. Voila, you've got a movie!

What hero doesn't look 100% better with a mullet?
#2 Masters of the Universe: Dolph Lundgren as a mullett sporting He-man battling Skeletor on Earth (not Eternia) with a pre-Friends Courtney Cox along for the ride. What's not to love?
That nuclear warhead shouldn't damage too much when it comes crashing back to Earth
#1 Superman 4: The Quest for Peace:  Making a half way decent Superman movie is hard enough, but doing it with a budget that seems to be entirely made up entirely of change found in people's couch cushions? Forget it. Test audiences found it so bad that the producers cut over 45 minutes from the final film. Between the visible wires used to make Christopher Reeve "fly" and the deadpan delivery of laughably bad dialogue you can't help but laugh at this cinematic monstrosity.

So, you want the back story behind some of these films? Then come check out Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films at Midnight Madness!

 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO: THE WILD UNTOLD STORY OF CANNON FILMS Screening times.
Mon., Sept. 8th, 11:59 PM, RYERSON
Wed., Sept. 10th, 9:00 AM, BLOOR HOT DOCS CINEMA
Sun., Sept. 14th, 12:45 PM, SCOTIABANK 11

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